Sex, Love, Monogamy. Or, is it love, monogamy, sex? Or, monogamy, love, sex? Or, love, sex, monogamy? Or, monogamy, sex, love? Or, sex, monogamy, love?

What do you think is the right order of these? Are you sure? Since we are talking about long-term relationships that might last till Happily Ever After, the answer here is NOT sex, sex, sex.

Those are the sex, err six, choices you have with each new relationship. And, how important sex is to each of you will probably affect your ordering and timing of the three issues.

Without a doubt, sex with someone you totally love and adore - with both matching each other's Profane List - is THE best. There is nothing on earth that comes close to it. On a scale of 1 to 10 - it is a 200!

But...

If you are a very sexual person, you will probably want to know from your Hero or Heroine prospect that there is a very close match to virtually all of your own sexual Profane List items that you enjoy, need and want. And, if you understand the concepts discussed in the book, Efficient Love, you will also require that you know you match and totally satisfy your Hero or Heroine's particular needs and wants on their Profane List at least as closely.

My research shows that unless there is a very close two- way sexual match, you will end up with major conflicts galore, day in and day out.

Imagine, for instance, you have GREAT chemistry with a man who was a wonderful match with everything on both of your Profound Lists - only to find out, AFTER you had given your heart and fallen in love, that he was boring in bed, or had no interest in your pleasure, or wanted sex only once a month, or gave you sex that only lasted 22 seconds, etc. (modify the picture to deny you whatever may be your own personal, most-needed sexual desires and requirements).

Even though you might love him dearly, and you might try to convince yourself that your sexual needs were less important than the love you shared, it is probably likely that at some point, the relationship would become very incomplete to you - and not be the match you thought had been made in Heaven. Maybe with the love eroding from the resulting friction.

If you are very strongly sexual, it might make a LOT more sense to make sure there is a MUTUAL sexual match from the very beginning of a relationship - before you fell in love.

The Profound List is the starting point and without an HONEST match there, the rest is irrelevant and probably sex should be avoided - unless you want to get waylaid on purpose.

But, if the Profound List is a great match and the Profane List, the sexual List Two, APPEARS on sheets of paper to be a match - it probably doesn't make sense to delay sex on sheets of cloth until AFTER you were in love. After all, you need a way to validate the paper version of the Profane List Two to make sure there is no ambiguity. Using LOTS of validation!

So, maybe sex, love, monogamy makes sense as the right order for you, after all. Or, is it sex, monogamy, love?