Does it seem like going to bed with your partner consists of going right to sleep? You both work and are tired at the end of the day and there is no desire for anything but sleep. Has the fire died, is the passion gone? Probably not. You just need to turn up the heat a little.

The greatest challenge that confronts monogamous relationships today is to maintain the sexual passion once the newness of the initial months or years has worn off. You don't have to have a sexual problem for sexual desire and excitement to die. Excitement tends to fade for three reasons.

The stress of life in our busy fast paced life today and society. Many of us are so busy with two careers, children, cooking, errands, etc. that we are left exhausted with little quality time left over for sexual or emotional intimacy. In the priorities of life, our sexual relationship gets placed towards the end of the list, sometimes even in last place.

The second interfering factor is the suppression of feelings. When something bothers us, we tend to hold it in -- either because we don't want to rock the boat or because we feel too vulnerable and unsafe to be open.

Unfortunately, you can't suppress some feelings while leaving others free to grow and expand. If you are holding in angry or hurt feelings, you automatically will be holding in sexual feelings as well. If you don't feel safe to express yourself or trust that you will be heard and respected, you are likely to protect yourself by holding back from the vulnerability that occurs with sexual intimacy.

The expectation that sex should take care of itself is the third culprit responsible for diminished sexual passion. Many of us grew up in families that taught us to be ashamed of our sexual feelings or to feel embarrassed about sex. We expected great sex to just happen if we were really in love with our partner.

But this is not true. Like other areas of life, if you expect to reap the rewards of sexual intimacy you need to put energy in. You would never consider putting energy into a business for a year and then expect it to support you for the rest of your life. For the same reasons, a sexual relationship requires ongoing attention, expansion, and even risk. It requires that you set aside time to experiment and have fun, thereby prioritizing your partner and your sex life.

So you want it back? Here are some thoughts to try.

Leave a note for him or her to see in the morning, or leave an email, voicemail with clues throughout the day for them to anticipate the evenings outcome. For her, candlelight, soft music, hot bath waiting, rose pedals on the floor leading from the door to the bedroom, and you on the bed waiting for her to come in.

For him, candle light, soft music, aroma of his favorite perfume, you waiting by the fire on a rug with your new sexy lingerie waiting for him to come through the door to find you ready for his taking.

Passion takes work, take the time, put it at the top of your daily list. Other things can take a backseat, let the one you love know that the fire has not extinguished. Start by buying something you know he or she will love and start that fire burning again. The first step is you need to feel sexy. Go to the site below and get started on rekindling that flame by feeling sexy.